Wise Buys Resell

Random Musings from the KristenHead: A to Z: Nothing (Boston Bombings)

Random Musings from the KristenHead: A to Z: Nothing (Boston Bombings): Due to the Boston Bombings, I am taking a break from the A to Z challenge for a day. I was originally planning to write about nicknames, b...

Exile Island Ottawa

 I'm very proud & happy to be a part of Lisa Larter's virtual team "50 Shades of Pink" for Exile Island (Ottawa)! I can't wait to see how much money we raise for The Children's Wish Foundation. :) Send me a message to find out how YOU can join the virtual team or make a donation! Let's go 50 Shades of Pink!
Exile Island Ottawa

YCNniversary, a year in review

Today marks the one year anniversary for me that I had my first article published on Yahoo! Inc. as a Y! Contributor.  For many, this may not be a big deal, but for a small town girl who is only use to writing locally, this is huge.

This anniversary marks many triumphs for me.  It was with this accomplishment that lead to many life changing experiences for me.  During the time that I wrote my first article, I was falling into a deep depression.

Living in a toxic environment where I felt useless, I knew writing was at this point my only rescue of hope.  Writing gave me a revived feeling of life and excitement that I hadn't had since my son was born.  I shared my success with my kids and I knew through their happiness that I should continue with my writing, despite the criticism that surrounded me by others.

As I look back over the year and see the success that has came with everything I've accomplished, I can't help but be proud of myself.  I did what I was told a year ago, that I wouldn't be able to do- I started writing again and became successful.

But don't get me wrong, being successful wasn't my goal.  That is simply just a privilege that followed what simply helped save my well being.

Through my writing, I have been able to give my children a more healthy and happy lifestyle.  I've been able to travel the world (in a sense) and help make a difference in the lives of others. 

I've been inspired to do more work with charities.  I've learned to better myself as a writer, and that it's possible to turn dreams into reality.  Through my writing I've learned how to productively reach my goals and better manage my time.

Who knew something as simple as publishing an article, could inspire someone in so many ways?

I was told nothing would come of my writing.  My writing was a waste of time.  I should have concentrated on the more important things in life, like "getting a real job". That writing was "silly" and "useless".  I was told that I spent too much time on my computer and stayed up too late.

Today is my one year YCNniversary.  A special thank you to my kiddos for their smiles and cheers. Thank you to those who supported me during my moments of writer's block and brief moments of insanity, and to those who said I'd fail- you can kiss my article.

In all seriousness- Thank you, who gave me those negative words- for pushing me to my limit.

Now, have a drink with me and enjoy this piece as I take you back one year and bring this article to life from my Y! vault. Cheers my friends! Click here to enjoy
 

The good and bad of journalism

In journalism, it's important to get all of the facts clear and true. Okay, we all understand that.  But is it really necessary to report something such as "hair still looks to be spray painted red" (via Jenna Deery/Dayton Ohio)?  Seriously, what is happening to our news reports that they have to say such a thing?

Recently, a man shot and killed twelve people and injured many more while they were viewing the newly released Batman movie.  Today the world watches as news stations show the suspect James Holmes during his first court appearance.  Not only are they showing this coverage live on television and the internet, they are also doing their job on the social networks as well.

What concerns me is the target audience that the news stations are trying to reach with their information.  Who exactly are you trying to reach by discussing this man's hair color? Yes, we all know what this man did- but is it really necessary to advertise the information over and over and.. over? By discussing this man's appearance in court continuously, you are taking away the well deserved attention from the victim's.

Drama.

We are all human and even though many refuse to admit it, nature allows us to love drama every now and then.  But, to what to extent?

My Twitter and Facebook newsfeed has been blown up this morning about this man who did this unforgettable crime.  I however, am a firm believer in positive social news.  It's known that if you want a certain kind of attention or business, that you reach out to a certain target audience.

There is just as much a crave of attention for the victims and heroes involved in this tragedy, as there are for the suspect (suspect: politically correct b.s. term for, we all know he's guilty and even though he admits it we still have to say the word to cover our butts from lawsuits). Which is why I am writing this blog.  To help bring awareness to the fact that shifting journalism to become more positive is not impossible.

Journalism has already tremendously shifted from print to social media.  Who's to say we can't change it, but in a more positive way?  There will always be drama in the news, but it's time we concentrate more on the hero's and less on the evil-doers.

So on this note I will leave you with a moment of remembrance for those who lost their lives during this tragedy.  I ask that we begin shifting the media from the concentration of Mr. Holmes, to those who lost their lives and survived instead.

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The Bully Project; Becoming an active advocate

The Bully Project

Hi, my name is Sandra Wise and I was bullied.  What a corny way to begin a piece of work, right?  Yes it sounds lame, but it is unfortunately true.  Recently I had the privilege to review “Bully”, a movie about several children who were bullied in their communities.  When I entered the theatre I thought I had a general idea of what to expect.  Of course the key word there is, “thought”.  What I didn’t realize is the potential impact the movie would have on me once the finishing credits entered the screen.

The movie itself takes you on a day to day journey through each child’s life, unedited (so be cautious when taking children, as it is rated PG13) and allows the viewers to see the child’s life from every perspective including school and home.  I was able to appreciate how the creator has handled the movie, because it doesn’t direct the viewer to feel one particular way or another.  The movie simply gives facts and allows you to make your own decisions based on what you are seeing.

This is a very educational documentary and I do highly suggest that families see this movie.  But not just families, churches, organizations, groups and schools alike should all see this movie.  Look, we all know that bullying happens.  It doesn’t just happen to kids but to everyone of all ages.  What I believe this movie does is makes it become real to the viewer, no matter how real it may seem in the present.

As I watched this movie, I was able to see how bullying didn’t just affect the victim but it also affected the family and community as well.  Some of these kids even took their own life as an unfortunate result because they felt it was the only way out.  When you think about how you or your child, or possibly another child you know are being bullied, do you ever think of the affect it is going to take in the long term?

It is much different for myself now that I am a parent and I watch the children around me grow up (either as the victim or as the bully).  From experience I like to think that I know the right things to say and do when the problem arises around me and I’m asked to help handle it.  Because I have seen this first hand and been the victim myself, this movie has simply inspired me even more so now than before, to take action and speak up against it.

I know that it only takes one person to make a world of difference.  Can you imagine if that one person, never spoke up and said anything?  If we never stand up for what we believe in, how will anything ever change?

Now I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement, for all parties.  I believe that a bully is someone who has had their underlying issues overlooked and uses bullying as a form of lashing out.  I also believe that a victim is someone who needs a friendly and positive advocate because despite how hopeless it may seem, there really is someone out there who can help.

I must say that during this movie I was stunned to see that in some cases, the bully was being accused of almost deserving the abuse by the school administrators as well as their own families.  Emotionally the victim was being beat up and you could clearly see where the child felt there was nowhere else to turn.  I felt it for them, just by watching them go through it.

At some points, I stopped myself from jumping out of my seat and saying “Are you for real?  Seriously that can’t be happening- help this kid.”  I was especially surprised and almost insulted by the reactions of the school administration in some of the cases.

I agree that laws are not specific enough to enforce or allow authorities to take serious action in some cases of bullying, however I also believe that it is easier (and some would argue cheaper) for the adults to shun action taken rather than to get involved.  However I feel I have a valid argument when I say that by ignoring the problem at hand allows it to become a much more serious situation.

When I think about bullying and the adults in this movie, there is a question that seem to run through my mind- What is going on with this bully that is fueling the anger for the abuse?  Of course the answer to this question should not make the abuse excusable, but it could be the key to prevent the bully from harming themselves or anyone else ever again.

At one point in this movie, there is a young girl is who is pushed to the point where she takes the matter into her own hands with a gun that she took from her mothers possession.  This young girl spends time behind bars for her actions, but that it isn’t all that bothered about me her case.  The opinions that one of the authorities expresses during his interview about her actions struck a nerve in me.  I agree that a gun should not have been used to solve the matter of this girl being bullied, however his statement was extremely strong in terms of her using it being the wrong thing to do.

The strongest opinions in this movie that I created from watching this movie, was from the assistant principal of the Sioux County School in DeMoines, Iowa.

I commend the mother who confronted the principal in her office for maintaining her grace and position, as I’m not sure that I could say I’d have done the same.  Am I saying I would have caused the principal harm in some way?  Absoluetly not, but I may have contacted the media as well as a few good lawyers before I’d left that building.

I personally felt that her redirecting the conversation was an inappropriate way to handle the serious situation that was brought to her attention.  Although I do understand that her hands may have been tied as far as how much she was legally allowed to do,.  Not to mention her slightly scolding a different boy who was being picked on in previous scenes of the movie and almost praising the other child who was being violent.

I was pleased to see that in the end, action was taken for the young man who being abused on the school bus.  I also commend the students who spoke up and said something to help, though it was clear to see they were nervous as well about confessing.  Also, great job to the staff who were creating the movie for turning in the footage to the authorities when the situation for the student became even more dangerous.

However what you have to remember when watching these scenes is that the teaches, administrators and principals hands are basically tied legally.  There is a limited amount that they are legally allowed to do in many cases.  But don’t you think, that at some point, your morales should come into play?  I don’t believe in giving  up, but I do believe in finding a positive solution.

I understand school administrators are overworked and underpaid for their jobs and do not take what I am saying out of context because I commend them for their work.  I am simply saying that if you are going to be present in the childs life for the majority of the day, that you need to take responsibility for your own behavior as well.

As a victim of adolescent bullying myself, I was able to comprehend well with the kids who were being bullied in the movie.

Now as an adult, I watch as bullying takes it’s toll on children and adults alike not only in person but also through social networks.  Like many in the world today I do the majority of my work on the internet.  I am no internet police, but I do my part in taking a stand against the negative behavior I witness by using social networking as a tool to stand against it.

By using blogs such as this one, I am able to turn it into a tool to help others who are being bullied and guide them by showing them how they can become an advocate and not just the next victim.  I am also able to help teenagers to protect themselves from social networking bullying which is very important as social networking can be just as dangerous as walking down a dark alley with no streetlight and your wallet right open.  If you’re not careful, you can very much be welcoming trouble without even having to look for it.

So what can we do as a community, as a parent, as a teacher or guardian to create a safer and brighter environment for the children we love and care for everyday?  You can first start by joining me in taking a stand against bullying.  I again suggest you watch this movie and create your own conclusions.

I also suggest that you join me in becoming active with _______.  This is a group created by ____ to bring awareness to other students that there is hope and that your life does a make difference, that suicide is not the answer.  Let this group shine through you and touch others who are suffering.  You may know someone right now who is, that may not be discussing it at all because they don’t think it will help.

You do not even need to be a victim or know someone who is to take a stand.  Just by attending rallies and sharing with others what you know about awareness, is enough to help someone in need.  All it takes is one person to make a world of difference.

Recently I heard a visiting Pastor at my church tell a story about woman he knew, that read an article about villages in some parts of the world not having fresh water.  She explained that in these villages, women and children had to walk to carry fresh water to their village as there was no well, and that sometimes they would be robbed and raped while doing so.  She asked how she could help.

He let her know sometime later that it would take $5,000.00 to dig a well for a village to have fresh water, and the elderly woman began to cry.  After a moment of silence she said that it was amazing that someone like her could make such a difference.  Because of her contribution, an entire village now has drinkable water.

As you can see my point, anyone can make a difference if you just speak up.  All it takes is one and you won’t know if you are that one until you take a stand.  It is never too late to speak to your kids about bullying- Where the line is drawn that makes them the bully, What they can do if they are being bullied, What they can do to help prevent themselves from being bullied and What they can do to stand up against bullying. 

You can also start by holding rallies in your community and local schools to discuss ways to prevent bullying and suicide.  Remember, bullying comes in many ways- face to face and social networks, and also in many forms- emotional and physical (as well as from every age).  Don’t wait until it’s too late, take a stand by beginning your journey against bullying today.

We never say goodbye to inspiration

Yesterday I received word that one of my uncle's has passed away. I haven't seen him recently, but that doesn't change how I feel.  My uncle was someone who with his words, made a huge impact in my life.  Now as some of my close friends are reading this their probably thinking, really? How can someone who you don't talk often about make such a huge impact on you?

Like every family, mine had it's own troubles. However when it came down to it, this man had some very wise words and he didn't care how mad he made you when he spoke them.  I can remember thinking many times growing up "You're not my dad", but as I look back at the situations I have been able to see clearly his points in each.

He strongly encouraged college and moving if you needed, in order to be successful.  I always carried those words with me and to be honest, it was that kick in the butt that I needed to keep motivated to be successful.  I believe that everyone we meet has some sort of impact in our lives. I like to think that he knew he did with me, even if we didn't see each other often.

I know my dad will miss him greatly, and I will too.