The Bully Project
Hi, my name is Sandra Wise and I was bullied. What a corny way to begin a piece of work,
right? Yes it sounds lame, but it is
unfortunately true. Recently I had the privilege
to review “Bully”, a movie about several children who were bullied in their
communities. When I entered the theatre
I thought I had a general idea of what to expect. Of course the key word there is, “thought”. What I didn’t realize is the potential impact
the movie would have on me once the finishing credits entered the screen.
The movie itself takes you on a day to day journey through
each child’s life, unedited (so be cautious when taking children, as it is
rated PG13) and allows the viewers to see the child’s life from every perspective
including school and home. I was able to
appreciate how the creator has handled the movie, because it doesn’t direct the
viewer to feel one particular way or another.
The movie simply gives facts and allows you to make your own decisions
based on what you are seeing.
This is a very educational documentary and I do highly
suggest that families see this movie.
But not just families, churches, organizations, groups and schools alike
should all see this movie. Look, we all
know that bullying happens. It doesn’t
just happen to kids but to everyone of all ages. What I believe this movie does is makes it
become real to the viewer, no matter how real it may seem in the present.
As I watched this movie, I was able to see how bullying
didn’t just affect the victim but it also affected the family and community as
well. Some of these kids even took their
own life as an unfortunate result because they felt it was the only way out. When you think about how you or your child,
or possibly another child you know are being bullied, do you ever think of the
affect it is going to take in the long term?
It is much different for myself now that I am a parent and I
watch the children around me grow up (either as the victim or as the
bully). From experience I like to think
that I know the right things to say and do when the problem arises around me
and I’m asked to help handle it. Because
I have seen this first hand and been the victim myself, this movie has simply
inspired me even more so now than before, to take action and speak up against
it.
I know that it only takes one person to make a world of
difference. Can you imagine if that one
person, never spoke up and said anything?
If we never stand up for what we believe in, how will anything ever
change?
Now I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement, for all
parties. I believe that a bully is
someone who has had their underlying issues overlooked and uses bullying as a
form of lashing out. I also believe that
a victim is someone who needs a friendly and positive advocate because despite
how hopeless it may seem, there really is someone out there who can help.
I must say that during this movie I was stunned to see that
in some cases, the bully was being accused of almost deserving the abuse by the
school administrators as well as their own families. Emotionally the victim was being beat up and
you could clearly see where the child felt there was nowhere else to turn. I felt it for them, just by watching them go
through it.
At some points, I stopped myself from jumping out of my seat
and saying “Are you for real? Seriously
that can’t be happening- help this kid.”
I was especially surprised and almost insulted by the reactions of the
school administration in some of the cases.
I agree that laws are not specific enough to enforce or
allow authorities to take serious action in some cases of bullying, however I
also believe that it is easier (and some would argue cheaper) for the adults to
shun action taken rather than to get involved.
However I feel I have a valid argument when I say that by ignoring the
problem at hand allows it to become a much more serious situation.
When I think about bullying and the adults in this movie,
there is a question that seem to run through my mind- What is going on with
this bully that is fueling the anger for the abuse? Of course the answer to this question should
not make the abuse excusable, but it could be the key to prevent the bully from
harming themselves or anyone else ever again.
At one point in this movie, there is a young girl is who is
pushed to the point where she takes the matter into her own hands with a gun
that she took from her mothers possession.
This young girl spends time behind bars for her actions, but that it
isn’t all that bothered about me her case.
The opinions that one of the authorities expresses during his interview
about her actions struck a nerve in me. I
agree that a gun should not have been used to solve the matter of this girl
being bullied, however his statement was extremely strong in terms of her using
it being the wrong thing to do.
The strongest opinions in this movie that I created from
watching this movie, was from the assistant principal of the Sioux County
School in DeMoines, Iowa.
I commend the mother who confronted the principal in her
office for maintaining her grace and position, as I’m not sure that I could say
I’d have done the same. Am I saying I
would have caused the principal harm in some way? Absoluetly not, but I may have contacted the
media as well as a few good lawyers before I’d left that building.
I personally felt that her redirecting the conversation was
an inappropriate way to handle the serious situation that was brought to her
attention. Although I do understand that
her hands may have been tied as far as how much she was legally allowed to
do,. Not to mention her slightly
scolding a different boy who was being picked on in previous scenes of the
movie and almost praising the other child who was being violent.
I was pleased to see that in the end, action was taken for
the young man who being abused on the school bus. I also commend the students who spoke up and
said something to help, though it was clear to see they were nervous as well
about confessing. Also, great job to the
staff who were creating the movie for turning in the footage to the authorities
when the situation for the student became even more dangerous.
However what you have to remember when watching these scenes
is that the teaches, administrators and principals hands are basically tied
legally. There is a limited amount that
they are legally allowed to do in many cases.
But don’t you think, that at some point, your morales should come into
play? I don’t believe in giving up, but I do believe in finding a positive
solution.
I understand school administrators are overworked and underpaid
for their jobs and do not take what I am saying out of context because I
commend them for their work. I am simply
saying that if you are going to be present in the childs life for the majority
of the day, that you need to take responsibility for your own behavior as well.
As a victim of adolescent bullying myself, I was able to
comprehend well with the kids who were being bullied in the movie.
Now as an adult, I watch as bullying takes it’s toll on
children and adults alike not only in person but also through social
networks. Like many in the world today I
do the majority of my work on the internet.
I am no internet police, but I do my part in taking a stand against the
negative behavior I witness by using social networking as a tool to stand
against it.
By using blogs such as this one, I am able to turn it into a
tool to help others who are being bullied and guide them by showing them how
they can become an advocate and not just the next victim. I am also able to help teenagers to protect
themselves from social networking bullying which is very important as social
networking can be just as dangerous as walking down a dark alley with no
streetlight and your wallet right open.
If you’re not careful, you can very much be welcoming trouble without
even having to look for it.
So what can we do as a community, as a parent, as a teacher
or guardian to create a safer and brighter environment for the children we love
and care for everyday? You can first
start by joining me in taking a stand against bullying. I again suggest you watch this movie and
create your own conclusions.
I also suggest that you join me in becoming active with
_______. This is a group created by ____
to bring awareness to other students that there is hope and that your life does
a make difference, that suicide is not the answer. Let this group shine through you and touch
others who are suffering. You may know
someone right now who is, that may not be discussing it at all because they
don’t think it will help.
You do not even need to be a victim or know someone who is
to take a stand. Just by attending
rallies and sharing with others what you know about awareness, is enough to
help someone in need. All it takes is
one person to make a world of difference.
Recently I heard a visiting Pastor at my church tell a story
about woman he knew, that read an article about villages in some parts of the
world not having fresh water. She
explained that in these villages, women and children had to walk to carry fresh
water to their village as there was no well, and that sometimes they would be
robbed and raped while doing so. She
asked how she could help.
He let her know sometime later that it would take $5,000.00
to dig a well for a village to have fresh water, and the elderly woman began to
cry. After a moment of silence she said
that it was amazing that someone like her could make such a difference. Because of her contribution, an entire
village now has drinkable water.
As you can see my point, anyone can make a difference if you
just speak up. All it takes is one and
you won’t know if you are that one until you take a stand. It is never too late to speak to your kids
about bullying- Where the line is drawn that makes them the bully, What they
can do if they are being bullied, What they can do to help prevent themselves
from being bullied and What they can do to stand up against bullying.
You can also start by holding rallies in your community and
local schools to discuss ways to prevent bullying and suicide. Remember, bullying comes in many ways- face
to face and social networks, and also in many forms- emotional and physical (as
well as from every age). Don’t wait
until it’s too late, take a stand by beginning your journey against bullying
today.
